OK, you started to ask Why? Hopefully you have the beginnings of some kind of answers.
What now? The key to staying the course for most is having to answer to someone besides ourselves. Going it alone or with the wrong people is why we are here. Now we have to find that tribe of people that is dedicated to the path you want to be on. You also need a leader that has the skills and empathy to work with you when you struggle, not just cheerlead when you are thriving.
Not all places, classes, and programs are the same. You need a culture that fits your goals and programs instead of classes. Classes you can pop in and out of. Programs you have to invest in so you get the results the programs are designed to achieve.
Find people you will not mind being with for hours a week and a coach that you are confident has the tools and the drive to keep you motivated thru the program.
Killer B Combat Sports Academy